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Jesse Kessenheimer

LOTR is the greatest story ever told–change my mind
Wuddup Cheezburger brethren–I'm Jess Kessenheimer and I'm a writer for the Trending Team over here at the spiciest website on the Internet. Platters of punchlines are brought to you on Memebase, Failblog, ICanHas, Geek Universe, Cheezcake, and Animal Comedy–And I'm the one that's gonna serve it up with a dash of salt. What makes me qualified to curate such a delectable mix of mishmash and comedy? Welp, you don't spend your life perpetually online without gaining a bit of insider info on the goods. You may hate that I'm a Zillennial (millennizoomer, or whatever you want to call it), but as your purveyor of memes, viral videos, and tiptop tales from the Reddit dungeons, I'm specifically equipped to bring you the very best that the Internet has to offer.  I may be too old to be TikTok famous and too young to own a house, but I'm just the right age to have spent $.99 cents on a ringtone and to watch my Neopet starve, while I'm locked into a snowball dispute on Club Penguin. So as my knees creak and the dial-up tone of my first computer echoes in my ears, step right up and read some of my newest jokes, cultivated in the dark humor corners of my soul. What can I say? I'm just a product of my environment (which has incidentally consisted of a disturbing amount of 'once-in-a-lifetime' events).  Anywho, below are some funnies, some weirds, and some downright dubious trending tidbits from online–go look at 'em!!
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Homeowner spends 2 years cultivating a vegetable garden on their property, then gets accosted by a newbie neighbor who demands they dig it up because 'her dog doesn't like it': 'Apparently, my tomatoes are the local menace'

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'The brotrayal!': Guy misses a bar trivia freebie because his nerdy friend points out the barman's mistake, friendly feud ensues

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‘We found him in your engine’: Resilient tabby cat turns up in a farmer's tractor then becomes the newest addition to the mechanic's family of 5 felines, turning a routine oil change into a CDS delivery

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‘Oh boy! Triple the orange’: Cat lover bestowed 3 random kittens in the same week, raising the babies alongside her nanny-dog until the cats find furever homes

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'I'm not paying $200 for people who weren't invited': Fiancé's family brings along uninvited guests to a pre-wedding dinner, then expects the groom to fork up the cash to pay for their meals

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Mom ‘ruins summer’ to protect her 3 and 5-year-old kids, forbidding her 11, 12, and 17-year-olds to swim in their olympic-sized pool until a safety fence is installed: ‘I don't feel comfortable, bottom line’

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'It's not 'just a house,' it's MY house': Entitled 30-year-old groom steamrolls his brother's boundaries, inviting 14 friends over to his home just to save $200 on a hotel on the wedding day